Cat and Mouse

     The story begins with my sister, the heart breaker, who, in her quest for happiness and attention, leaves scores of lovesick puppies in her wake. The current one she's "dating" at the moment is from our church--not the first from our (small) church, and probably not the last. They've been going steady for about six months now (which is a record for Jamie), blissfully disturbing my peace as they sit in the living room, hog the TV, and make googoo eyes at each other almost every weekend.
     Now, here's the thing. This boyfriend has a brother. An older brother. Who's my age. And this brother is desperate to go out with me.
     I don't know why fate has chosen to torture me, but it seems that the guys I am attracted to show absolutely no interest in me, while the guys I wouldn't give a second thought to come tripping over themselves to get to me. So it is the way with this new suitor. He is a musiciann (that can't sing yet still tries), phlegmatic (I want a sanguine), short and stocky (I like tall and wiry), blond (I prefer dark hair) with facial hair that is reminiscent of a satyr (I find both facial hair and satyrs unattractive), who complains about money (one of my pet peeves). Oh, and did I mention he's my sister's boyfriend's brother?
     We have never spoken to each other in all of my four years attending this church, and yet now that his brother is dating my sister, he suddenly has a profound interest in me. Over the past months, he has sent me several messages over Facebook, none of which I have responded to because I'm never on Facebook anyways. He has tried to contact me through my sister on numerous occasions, and sseveral times I have noticed him lurking around the door to the toddler class I volunteer in on Wednesday nights, hoping to catch me. Thank goodness there are two doors in and out of the room, and I have been able to either slip away quietly or cling to my father's side before he can approach me. His brother, who (may I remind you) comes over to the house almost every week, has been incessantly and tactlessly been trying to convince me that he is the man of my dreams.
     Well, last Sunday, he finally did catch me. With my mother feeling sick, my father took my sister to church early (for he works the sound board), and told me to meet him there second service. Sometime in between the two services, my suitor caught wind that I would be arriving shortly. Lo and behold, upon arriving at church just fifteen minutes past the start of second service (out of sympathy for my ailing mother, I walked the dog upon her request before leaving, then stopped by Krispy Kreme for a short breakfast), I find my suitor sitting patiently on the bench just by the doors, waiting for me. I had been caught. The game was over.
     As I approached, he jumped up and invited me to join the Young Adults small group, which has become nothing more than an elite club for the upperclassmen in high school and the few twenty-somethings that still attend our church. It seeming that the worst of this encounter was over, I made a move for the door, and that's when he blurted,
     "And I was also wondering if you would like to get a coffee or see a movie sometime."
I don't drink coffee.
I don't go to movies with strangers.
     "Actually, no. I should just tell you now that I have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever, and that you are wasting your time. Please stop sending me your desperate messages, and please, tell your brother to stop trying to set us up."
At least, that's what I wanted to say. Instead, I had no choice to say something along the lines of,
     "Sure!"
And that was that. I went inside, and I couldn't curse because I was in a church.
     That was last Sunday. At midnight on Thursday, he sent me another message on Facebook asking if we could go out next Tuesday. I didn't know how to respond, so I left it sitting there for the better part of the day. After complaining sufficiently to my friends, I figured I had no choice but to go out with him this once. I was just about to go onto facebook, when the worst of it began.
     As I was sitting at my desk Thursday, I was suddenly getting message after message from him--on Facebook, by email, he even messaged me on AIM. I don't even know how he got ahold of my AIM address. But he did, and the spam flooded my computer all of Thursday night. And by then, I was too frightened to respond.
     So far this week, I have been able to avoid him. I had an art class Wednesday night, and I was relieved to find out that we'll be going to my grandparents' church this Sunday for Father's Day. Still, I can't hide forever. Just last night, my sister knocked on my door, on the phone with her boyfriend, and said that his brother was wondering if I'd gotten his message. I just didn't answer her, and after a few moments, she walked away.
     I know this post will make me sound awful. The fact is, I'm a double-introverted personality, prone to evasive behavior, and, in all honesty, I don't want to waste my time on someone who I am not compatible with in any regard whatsoever. Moreover, I don't want to waste his time, or his money, or lead him on in any way. But I don't know how to tell him that without sounding like more of a jerk than I've already been by ignoring him. So, I hide, like I do with everything else.
     We'll see how this plays out, especially approaching Tuesday, and next Sunday. It's only a matter of time before I have to explain myself, and I'm hoping by then I'll have figured out just what to say. I'll keep you posted.