Just the fumes of my 2011-2012 course registration angst.

“Haley,
Bible is a required class for every year of attendance at [school], so you can not drop Bible to pickup another elective. You will have to choose between Honors Spanish III and AP Psychology; both are good classes and will look good on your transcript… I think it comes down to which one you have more interest in.”
     Oh, of course! How could I even be so twisted by the wiles of the Evil One to even suggest such a thingu? Get behind me, Satan!
     After all, Bible is obviously the most important thing at our school, considering there are only four classes in the entire department and not enough teachers to cover even those four. Of course I have no freedom in choosing what type of biblical curriculum I would like to pursue, because my weak, naiive mind needs to imbimbe every last drop of indoctrination you can press into my brain before I’m thrown out into this dark, heathen world!
     Besides, God is supposed to be a chore, a burden, a long, hard pursuit. As it says in his Holy Word, we are to take up our cross daily, for precisely fifty minutes of the academic school day, to learn all the facts we can about Him. We children are too spiritually blinded by our disentegrating culture to nurture our own, personal relationships with Him. We need an academic supervisor do be our go-between.
     Plus, we are a Christian school, which means we have to take every shallow, half-assed, picturesque step we can to look like the perfect Christian school. We have to pray before every class, cut time out of academia to attend chapel once a week (in skirts and ties, no less!), and give every student the privelege and the blessing of going to Bible class. We should be grateful, because their are so many wayward Chrisitans out there in those public schools who have never even heard of such thing as a Bible class.
    Therefore, I would like to recant for even posing such a rediculous question. Maybe I won’t get enough academic credits to get into my dream college, but I’m sure my four elective Bible credits will give me an edge at Liberty University. Thank you for rebuking me in the name of the LORD. Amen.